A Christmas Carol
by Horus.Potter
Summary: A retelling of Dickens A Christmas Carol with Snape as the protagonist. If you've stumbled upon this by pairing it is an unrequited Snape/Lily. You've been warned.


AN: I do not own Harry Potter or The Tale of A Christmas Carol they are owned by Rowling and Dickens respectively and whatever other affiliates those great minds have shared with.

I had the urge to write a Christmas piece, and this just kind of came to me.. please enjoy. Things are changed for my own creative purposes.

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**A Christmas Carol: **

Severus looked out at the grounds below; it was cold, snowy, and all around miserable. Since the departure of the previous headmaster Hogwarts had lost some of its metaphorical magic. That lush, green, cheery quality that seemed to sing to it' inhabitants had depleted with the previous headmasters demise.

Severus realized it was Christmas Eve. The students were not around, having all gone home for the semester break; eager at the first chance to get away from the school that had become more of a prison than an environment for learning. Severus wondered idly how long this charade could keep up; how long Potter could take on his mission. Severus knew he had to find Potter and deliver him the sword soon. Dumbledore was specific in his instructions about getting the sword to Harry; but he was not specific on the timing; and time was one commodity the world was very short on. Severus could feel something pending, like the world was tense with bated breath; waiting.

"Headmaster?" Carrow questioned, pulling Severus from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Severus snipped back, not bothering to be pleasant.

"Alecto and I are heading out."

Severus waved vaguely in Amycus Carrow's direction and waited, listening to the retreating footsteps. When the sound had faded and he was certain everyone was gone Severus retired to his room.

((()))

The wind outside was howling as it lashed against the ramparts and turrets. The noise became so loud Severus could hear it in his dungeon. He opened his eyes, annoyed, and saw a ghostly image. A soft gasp, barely audible, left his lips as he gazed upon the ethereal from of Albus Dumbledore.

"Headmaster?" Severus asked, not sure if he were dreaming.

"I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news to bring Severus. You've not held up your end of the bargain." Albus said without preamble.

"Bargain Headmaster? I did everything that you asked, against all better judgments. To the letter I have done your bidding." The tone of Severus's voice was dangerous; hostile on the brink of losing control.

"And don't think for a moment Severus that I am not grateful; I am. But Harry is not as far along as I would have hoped. And it is up to you to guide him. I'm afraid you've allowed your old habits to run away with you."

"How am I to guide the boy when I am busy filling the role you so desperately needed me to be?" the biting edge was losing in his tone as he submitted to the wizened wizard but the irony held out.

"Fulfilling a role and succumbing to your old ways are different horses of the same color Severus."

"I am doing everything in my limited power to make sure the Dark Lord doesn't kill every one of these children. The only way they are safe is if I stay."

"I'll not argue with you tonight Severus. I have come to bring you warning. You will be visited by three spirits on this Christmas Eve. It is time you have a reminder of just who you are, and who you are meant to be."

"What does that mean?" Severus felt a draft in the air and wondered where it might be coming from; but the castle was always so cold.

The draft didn't settle as Dumbledore seemed to flicker in front of him. "Headmaster? Spirits? What are you-"

Dumbledore's waiflike form flickered once more and was gone.

Severus stared at the empty room a while longer before a gust of wind and a form appeared inches from where Dumbledore had previously been floating. The spirit seemed to smile as though sensing Severus's ill ease.

"I am the ghost of Christmas Past." The spirit said, his voice loud and booming. Severus thought irritably of Sirius Black; the way his presence always seemed to take up a room, the way his voice carried across Quidditch fields.

"Christmas Past?" Severus asked dubiously.

"I am here to remind you of some things you may have forgotten. Or worse, choose to not remember." The spirit reached for Severus as though to tug him off the bed. Severus felt nothing but the cold wind but somehow he was moving, he felt himself drift and float alongside the spirit and suddenly they were in a different world.

As though stumbling into a pensive Severus saw his younger self, looking sad and alone in the corner of his room at Spinner's End. He was a mere child, no more than eight or nine. It was Christmas but it would be hard to tell that from the memory. There was shouting from another part of the house; angry voices screaming to be heard above each other. The child Severus seemed to be determined to ignore the voices, while taking everything in.

"That's… that's me as a boy." Severus said allowed, though he was sure the spirit already knew that.

"Yes. Not the happiest of Christmases." Though the spirits voice was still loud and booming, the tone was pity and it made Severus's stomach tense with shame. To be pitied by this spirit, this apparition, it was mortifying.

"Why are you showing me this?" he barked, withdrawing to the place he knew best being guarded with anger.

"It is important to see where we come from before we see where we will go."

Severus rolled his eyes at the answer; it sounded like something cryptic Dumbledore would say. "Come, enough of this sad lonely Christmas. Let's move on."

Suddenly the Great Hall of Hogwarts loomed before them but it was bright and cheery, like it was in the days before The Dark Lord. And Severus knew at once this was another memory from his childhood days. He looked and saw himself at his usual table, pouring over a book from the library. Suddenly his former self looked up and grabbed his things, almost running to the door. Severus followed the boy and saw Lily Evans. He had somehow been expecting this but it still made the intake of his breath hitch in his throat. Lily was beautiful. Just the way he'd remembered her. Her long red hair was done in a braid and her bright green eyes seemed to light the room.

"Lily! What are you doing for holiday?" Severus asked.

"Going home of course! Are you staying here?" she asked, there was no trace of pity in her eyes but Severus knew she felt sorry that he didn't have a proper home to go to.

"I haven't decided yet. I might go home." He seemed to switch tactics, to get the focus off himself, "So Lil. Slughorn's got that Christmas party tomorrow."

"Oh yea! It should be really fun!"

They had started walking, not wanting to be late for class; Severus and the Ghost of Christmas Past floating lazily behind them.

"Would you want to go with me?" he blushed and looked away, not wanting to see her eyes when she rejected him.

"Sure!"

He looked up, his mouth agape slightly in shock. "Really?"

She was smiling still and now she nodded. "Of course Sev!"

"This was the best Christmas I ever had." Severus said to the spirit, though he wasn't sure what made him admit that.

"Lily was always so sweet." He agreed as though Lily had been his good friend once.

"So is that what you brought me into this pensive for? To remind me that I once had nothing and yet I had her? But then I lost her so what does it matter?"

The spirit smiled sadly, "I came to remind you."

Severus groaned at another vague answer. "Are we done then?"

"Almost."

They were in the Great Hall again only it was decorated most elaborately. And there were children sitting at a small table in the centre of the room. Severus was there; almost as old as he was now; then he saw Potter and Weasley and knew that this particular memory was only four years ago. He saw himself pulling a wizard cracker with Dumbledore and Dumbledore laughed as a flowery hat escaped and he replaced his own with it.

"And what does this memory show spirit? How much a fool Albus was?"

The spirit clicked his tongue in admonishment. "Now Severus. Don't you remember? This night you smiled. You laughed. You were happy without Lily. You were able to see some good in things. Even Potter made you chuckle."

Severus looked at the scene but no such thing was happening. "Your ghostly omniscience is failing you spirit. This was the same as any other dinner I was forced to attend by Albus."

The spirit sighed and with a shake of his head the seen dissolved and they were back in Severus's chamber at Hogwarts. "I am not the last ghost you will see this night."

The ghost disappeared before Severus could interrogate him for more vague responses. Severus got into bed, determined to wake from this ridiculous dream when moments later he heard a small giggle. He sat up and saw a small spirit, her eyes as wide as a house elves'.

"Hello Severus." She said.

"Another cheery spirit on my night of anguish hmm?"

She smiled playfully and took his hand. He felt a cold sensation travel up his veins and then they were standing in a graveyard.

"What is this?"

"A graveyard."

Severus took a deep breath in frustration, "Obviously. I meant why are we here?"

"I am the ghost of Christmas present!" she said as though expecting fanfare to coincide her introduction.

"Wonderful. So what present am I in?"

"Look."

Severus watched as he saw Potter and Granger walk up to a grave. Severus inched closer to read the grave, though he had a fairly good hunch as to what it would say. As his curiosity got the better of him he saw the name he had feared, Lily and James Potter side-by-side for eternity. He felt the tears sting his eyes though he wasn't sure why. He knew she was dead; she'd been dead seventeen years. But seeing the name…

"Why are we here?" he asked, anger biting at his voice once more.

"The boy is looking for many things. He spends his Christmas running toward his death; praying he can save the world."

"What does Potter's strife have to do with me?"

"Come now Severus, you don't really have to ask that do you?"

Severus let the subject drop; knowing that Potter's mission was very much linked to his own but not being able to feel that emotion. Instead he bottled up the small ounce of care he had for this child and locked it away; burying it deep in his heart next to Lily's name.

The scene was gone again and Severus barely had time to collect himself before the ghost spoke to him. "There is one more spirit you will see tonight; and it is perhaps the most important spirit of all."

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

The spirit smiled sadly and was gone. Severus sighed, getting back into bed. He sat with his knees to his chest, like he had when he was small, thinking of all the things he had already seen tonight and what he could possibly see next.

The light in the room went out and he looked around anxiously. He reached for his wand and it illuminated with his silent spell. The light touched upon the room, pooling on the floor like a forgotten drape. A being of gossamer and shadow fluttered into existence, pointing a ghostly hand toward the deepest shadows of the still darkened room.

"Spirit? Are you going to show me what is yet to come?"

The spirit nodded and Severus felt a tug in his stomach that he associated with PortKeys. They landed bodily against the cold ground and Severus was shocked at how he could feel everything: the damp of the grass, the breeze in the air, the dirt beneath his fingernails as he scratched to stand up. As he stood up he noticed he was at the Ministry of Magic. The fountain in the centre still showed Muggle's in their – according to The Dark Lord – rightful place; and a large tapestry of The Dark Lord himself had been hung.

"What is this? I thought we were going into the future?"

The spirit pointed to a group of wizards talking in hushed voices. "I can't believe he's really gone."

"The-Boy-Who-Lived, gone for good."

"He never had a chance against You-Know-Who. He was just a boy."

"With Dumbledore gone it's amazing he lasted so long."

"Potter? He's gone?"

A newspaper billowed in the supernatural breeze so that Severus could read the headline: HARRY POTTER, THE BOY WHO LIVED, SLAYED BY THE DARK LORD.

"But… Potter has the advantage. He might not be fantastic at Occlumency but he has Granger and Weasley. And he will have the sword whatever that will do for him. It's his destiny. He's supposed to win."

The scene changed and they were at a grave, Granger and Weasley were sobbing together as a small crowd waited some distance behind, blowing into their hankies and wiping quickly at tears of their own.

Severus didn't need to look down at the grave stone to know it would say Harry Potter in bold lettering.

"If only he had known the truth. If Dumbledore had somehow been able to tell him…"

"Dumbledore did all he could before that git Snape killed him."

"At least he got his in the end."

Severus looked up to the ghost for confirmation. He pointed a ghostly hand and Severus saw with an aching heart his own shabby grave. The stone was clearly put there out of propriety more than respect. He had no family left to care whether he had a proper burial and no real friends who would bother. He felt the global loneliness of his life like a sledgehammer to the heart. The only people he had ever cared about were dead and he hadn't treated them very well to begin with; in fact he had killed one of them.

"I don't want to see any more." Severus said, trying not to let the traitorous tears escape his muddy eyes.

The scene did not change and Severus panicked that he would remain in this tragic world forever; having died a victim to his master and Potter died completely unprepared to take on the darkest of wizards.

"No!" he shouted, willing someone to hear him, to acknowledge him. "So help me I will do everything in my power to help Potter! I will keep my promises to Dumbledore and I will fight until every last bit of oxygen leaves my body! I will not give up this war until The Dark Lord sees his downfall and Lily's son is safe!"

Severus sat bolt upright in bed, tangled in his blankets as he panicked to calm his ragged breath. He grabbed his watch from the bedside table; it was almost ten in the morning. He finally regained some composure thinking of all he had dreamt; or had spirits actually taken him to these places and memories? He shook his head, willing his thoughts to clear. But as he thought of all he had seen one thought rang crystal through all of the others; Potter must be saved. He would do anything to see to that.

He supposed he had always known that he would do anything for Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. The reminder had jarred him from accepting his role in the new regime; it had stirred in him something he had long been fighting to keep at bay, hope and love. Severus knew there was still a long hard battle to fight and that the war was far from over; but he would keep love in his heart and he would fight for good. He would never again forget how to love and fight for righteousness 'til the end of his days.


End file.
